This is not the full note. The full note will never be written – it’s explicit and dark and gross. But this will give you an idea. It’s been cut just before Mirzaq begins to rant; about Azraa, Amira, even his parents.
I didn’t want to do this. I wanted to make that clear. I didn’t want to kill myself.
I wish things could have been different but there’s no way out for me. I was patient for so long, I can’t do it anymore.
How long can a man take living with a demanding, soulless, manipulative girl before he snaps? I thought I was getting married to the ideal woman but no – I married a little block of ice.
She’s suffocating me. I can’t take it, I need to cut loose and she’s never gonna let me go, the little strangler.
I only came here, halfway across the world from my family to try and provide for her constant demands. But no one wanted to listen when I tried to explain that.
Everyone thought I was the greedy one, asking for more money.
Even my so-called friends fell under her spell. They told me I was being too hard on her, that she was ‘delicate’. She’s a stone! A statue – even when I touch her, she stays stiff. When she doesn’t shove me away outright.
She turned my parents against me. They were the best parents anyone could ask for until she came along.
But I forgive her. She is what she is. Not everybody can be a good person, some people are just rotten.
For all the people who asked, and for the people who’ll judge me for taking the coward’s way out: this is why.
I had no choice. They killed me, my wife and my parents. If they’d just been less selfish, this would never have happened.