Resisting Taqdeer: Mirzaq’s Suicide Note, An Excerpt

This is not the full note. The full note will never be written – it’s explicit and dark and gross. But this will give you an idea. It’s been cut just before Mirzaq begins to rant; about Azraa, Amira, even his parents.

I didn’t want to do this. I wanted to make that clear. I didn’t want to kill myself.

I wish things could have been different but there’s no way out for me. I was patient for so long, I can’t do it anymore.

How long can a man take living with a demanding, soulless, manipulative girl before he snaps? I thought I was getting married to the ideal woman but no – I married a little block of ice.

She’s suffocating me. I can’t take it, I need to cut loose and she’s never gonna let me go, the little strangler.

I only came here, halfway across the world from my family to try and provide for her constant demands. But no one wanted to listen when I tried to explain that.

Everyone thought I was the greedy one, asking for more money.
Even my so-called friends fell under her spell. They told me I was being too hard on her, that she was ‘delicate’. She’s a stone! A statue – even when I touch her, she stays stiff. When she doesn’t shove me away outright.

She turned my parents against me. They were the best parents anyone could ask for until she came along.

But I forgive her. She is what she is. Not everybody can be a good person, some people are just rotten.

For all the people who asked, and for the people who’ll judge me for taking the coward’s way out: this is why.

I had no choice. They killed me, my wife and my parents. If they’d just been less selfish, this would never have happened.

13 thoughts on “Resisting Taqdeer: Mirzaq’s Suicide Note, An Excerpt

  1. Can we get a pov of Mirzaqs parents, grandfather and friends please
    And Azras parents
    All other ‘loose’ ends are ‘tied’, i kinda just feel like a closure from these ‘characters’
    Only if possible…
    Jazakillah Khair

    Liked by 2 people

  2. OMG!!!
    I am dying to read the full note… this is not enough😲

    Also i would love to hear his friends thoughts when he found the note… 🤔

    More please 😊😇

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It some how doesn’t go. . I don’t understand how he’s blaming Azra though? Doesn’t really add up. . His parents I can understand. . Also it was him that wanted to move. . Not Azra. . But it is what it is. . Would like more of the note though. .


    1. As I’ve said – I won’t be writing more of the note.

      Also, if you go back and read the chapter where he wrote this, you’ll see that Mirzaq’s plan was to guilt his mother and punish Azraa.

      It doesn’t make sense that he blames her – she isn’t the one to blame – but that’s the point. His purpose was to hurt her for leaving him and pull her back into being with him out of guilt.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Can we have more of the note?
    I thought he wasnt intending to kill himself, he was just trying to frighten his mother and wife?


    1. As I’ve already said, I won’t be writing any more of it.

      Also, Mirzaq’s plan was to have his mother find that note, read it, and give him everything he was asking for which is why he wrote it as though he was truly going to kill himself.

      Liked by 1 person

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