Fiction: Resisting Taqdeer Chapter Forty Four

Chapter Forty Four

Fucking Azraa. She just can’t behave, can she? No one has ever left me. No one.

I leave people. I do. People don’t leave me.

She can’t. I won’t let her. She has no right. She’s not allowed.

I own her, doesn’t she get that. I decide when she goes and when she stays. And I’m not done with her. Not yet.

–

It’s not fair. Why do I always have to be the bad guy? It’s not my fault Azraa’s stupid and throwing a tantrum. She needs to learn that she doesn’t get to choose what happens to her. She belongs to me!

But she’s going to blame me. She’s selfish like that. God, I should never have married her!

–

Wait… I know what to do.

I should’ve done this all along. I’ve always been good at it. Showing people their faults is one of my favourite games.

When I was little and Mom did things I didn’t want her to, all I had to do was make myself sick and she’d start seeing things my way. Azraa’s not like Mom. But she did start responding before she turned all selfish.

I just need to do something more drastic. Or make her think I’m doing it.

If I make her think she’s made me want to kill myself… If I do that, she’ll have to do what I want. The guilt will choke her and she’ll be trapped. It’s perfect.

–

Now, how… Pills? No, that’s not shocking enough.

And I don’t trust the dumb woman to not choke me if I put a rope around my neck.

What to do, what to do…

I know what to do.

There’s a mirror in the master bedroom that Azraa spends half her time standing in front of so she can stare at the parasite. I’ve wanted to break it for a while now.

So I do.

I feel no pain as I begin to dig into my own skin. I’m too filled with satisfaction. Just a little longer and I’ll have everything I want.

Mom will dote on me again instead of neglecting me. Azraa will know her place. And if I play my cards right, I’ll have Mom working on the old man to get me my money too.

Wait…

I’m being so stupid!

None of them are smart enough to figure anything out if I don’t spell it out. Pen and paper…

–

It’s done. And it’s a masterpiece. Every time she looks at this – and there will be many, I’ll make sure of it – she’ll be reminded of everything she’s done wrong.

The blood round the edges is a particularly nice touch, I think.