God, I hope you’re in a better place than I am. I pray that you’ve found a way to fix yourself, that you’re mostly happy, that you’ve found your niche.
I hope that you don’t forget what it was like to be me, that you don’t lie to yourself or others about how hard it’s been sometimes. I hope that you don’t have to remember how to force yourself to keep going. But I hope that you remember nonetheless.
I’m not in the worst place I’ve ever been – at that stage it would have been impossible for me to even sit down and write this letter. On that note, I hope you don’t take writing for granted. I still vividly remember what it’s like to not have those words and I’ve already found myself forgetting what it’s like to actually struggle with them. I hope you remember. I hope you appreciate it.
I hope that you’re still going. I hope that I don’t falter on the journey to becoming you. I hope that I don’t backslide and that I keep pushing. If I haven’t, well, now’s the time to start again.
I hope you remember how to dream, how to be uncompromisingly you. I can’t bear the thought that I’ve settled in a place where I feel stifled.
I hope you’re in a better place. But I’m just pessimistic enough to worry that you’re worse.
Keep going. Just keep on. One foot in front of the other. No matter how scary it is, no matter how hard. Find that courage. Find that doggedness. Fake it if you have to.
And stay faithful.